Detroit Free Press -- On the drive from Eaton Rapids to Detroit to rejoin his unit, the conversation between Marine Lance Cpl. Troy Nealey and his mother took that "what-if" turn.

"He said he wanted a memorial to benefit the 4-H kids who won the livestock showman awards," Annette Nealey recalled Tuesday night. "He'd been in 4-H for 10 or 11 years, and he'd shown livestock. Troy wanted the money to go the kids."

Nealey, 24, was killed Sunday in action in Anbar province in Iraq. A Reserve Marine assigned to the Charlie Company in the 1st Battalion, 24th Regiment of the 4th Marine Division, Nealey and the other men of the Michigan-based outfit shipped out last month in one of the largest Michigan deployments to the war in Iraq.

The unit recently completed training at Twentynine Palms, Calif., and is expected to be in Iraq for a seven-month tour of duty.

The Defense Department announced Nealey's death Tuesday afternoon.

"He joined the Marines, he didn't go to college," his mother said. "He felt the Marines would give him the opportunity to grow. He joined the Reserve Marines, and he realized the war was on and he might be involved. He was proud to be a Marine."

Nealey had hoped to be an electrician -- his father Norman Nealey is a builder -- but his mother said his heart was really on a farm.

"He loved agriculture," she said. "He was exposed to farm life, and he loved the cattle and crops. If he'd been born on a farm, I think that would have made him the happiest."

His last civilian job before going on active duty was milking cows on a dairy farm, she said.

Nealey's pickup truck showed his colors.

"The truck had two stickers," his mother said. "One was 'Cowboy Up,' and the other was the Marines.

A graduate of Eaton Rapids High School, he played sweeper on the soccer squad and anchored relay teams.

"He was 5 feet 6, but he had a big heart and a big smile," she said.

In his first e-mail home, Nealey asked his mother to send hard candy that he could hand out to Iraqi kids.

Annette Nealey said she and others had started gathering Jolly Ranchers and Beanie Babies when she got the news of his death.

She said her son was a realist.

"He told me he was scared, and I told him, 'But, Troy, I want you to be scared. Be smart, be brave, but don't be a hero,' " his mother said.

"And he told me he wouldn't be a hero."

Nealey's funeral will be held Nov. 11 at 1 p.m. at Eaton Rapids High School.