PittsburghLive -- Army Staff Sgt. Thor Ingraham of Murrysville always wanted to be a soldier.
Before he was killed in combat Sunday in Khalidiyah, Iraq, the 24-year-old had been trying to join Delta Force, the Army's elite, secret counterterrorism force. His mother, Betty Durst of Grantsville, Md., formerly of Murrysville, said her son had worked with Delta Force on several missions in Iraq.
"He was doing what he wanted to do. He always wanted to join the Army," she said.
Ingraham was serving in the 506th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team of the 2nd Infantry Division, near Khalidiyah when a car packed with explosives detonated near his Humvee, killing him and another soldier, Pfc. Nick Messmer, 20, of Franklin, Ohio.
They were among soldiers and Marines involved in Operation Matador in al-Anbar province, along the Syrian border. U.S. forces earlier this week launched an operation with ground troops, helicopter gunships, tanks and fighter jets along the vast border, which is a smuggling route for terrorists sneaking into Iraq.
All Durst could learn about the mission is that her son died of head wounds. She said she last heard from him in an e-mail on Saturday.
"I assumed he was there," she said. "There's not a lot they can tell you. You kind of know by the things they say."
She said her son dropped out of Franklin Regional High School in 10th grade, earned a General Education Development certificate, or GED, and joined the Army. He kept the address of an aunt and uncle, Gary and Judy Marco, of Murrysville, as his legal residence.
Another uncle, Pastor William Durst of the United Methodist Church in Grantsville, said two officers went to the Marco home late Sunday night, thinking Ingraham's mother lived there. When they learned Betty Durst lived in Maryland, they left because they were not permitted to inform anyone other than Ingraham's next of kin of his death.
The officers arrived at Betty Durst's home on Monday afternoon.
"Betty came over to the farm to tell us," William Durst said.
He added that he has watched cable news stations in the months since his son and nephew were deployed to Iraq last year. When he heard about the intense fighting along the Syrian border, he suspected his nephew was there.
Ingraham loved cars, Betty Durst said. He bought a 1968 Camaro and was having it refurbished in Pittsburgh so it would be ready upon his scheduled return from Iraq in a month, according to an interview with his father, Todd Ingraham, of Texas, in the San Antonio News-Express.
Ingraham, whose parents are divorced, was an Army brat born in Fort Knox, Ky. His father, now remarried, was a first sergeant in the Army who had been a ranger and Green Beret. During his years of service, the family had lived in Germany, Korea and the United States.
Betty Durst said she and her son moved to Murrysville in 1985. When she later moved to her hometown of Grantsville, Md., and remarried, her son kept a Murrysville address and used it when he enlisted. She added that he still has friends in the Murrysville area.
William Durst said his nephew was close to his two children, particularly his son, Sgt. John Durst, 26. The cousins, born two years apart, kept in touch.
"He and Thor were talking to each other by e-mail and making plans to take leave and come back to the States together. My son has insisted coming home to the funeral," he said.
His son, who is serving in the 3rd Infantry Division, attended a memorial service Monday at Ingraham's base.
"It was something he had to do," he said.
Durst described his nephew, who had about a month left on his deployment with the Korea-based unit that was slated to move to Fort Carson, Colo., as an "extremely able and proficient soldier."
"He also was good with kids. My daughter, Kelly, who lives in Burbank, has two children, 9 and 7. They're very upset because Thor spent some leave with them before he went to Korea. They're devastated," he said.
He said his nephew also had a way of defusing tense situations, a knack that came in handy in combat.
"Thor had, I guess, a kind of marvelous, quirky sense of humor," he continued. "Whenever a situation got too tense or too stressful, you'd see a sideways grin and knew a remark was coming to lighten the mood and to get everybody else to smile. I'm sure he used that technique with his men."
Durst will preside over his nephew's funeral when his body is returned from Iraq. Ingraham will be buried in Grantsville next to his grandparents, who also once lived in Murrysville.
"I want it to be done well, as well it can be," he said. "I want it to be both a remembrance and a celebration and a send-off. It will be difficult, but it's something I need to do."