Delaware Online -- June Harting stood where her son could not be. At his wife's side in the hospital room, cutting the umbilical cord as his tiny, perfect child came into the world.

Happiness nudged itself a place next to the crushing grief in her heart.

Two days before Warren Harting was born, June Harting learned her oldest son - Warren's father - had been killed in Iraq.

Army Capt. Ralph John "Jay" Harting III, 28, died Friday when the driver of a car he was inspecting at a checkpoint near Baghdad detonated a bomb.

A former Salesianum School soccer goalie who helped his team win the 1993 state championship, Harting went on to graduate from the U.S. Military Academy in West Point , N.Y. He was stationed in Fort Irwin, Calif.

The Harting family lived in Delaware for several years while father Ralph Harting worked for General Motors. By the time Jay graduated from West Point, the family was transferred to Zurich, Switzerland.

His youngest brother, Lawrence Harting, returned to attend the University of Delaware and now lives in New Castle County. The 25-year-old works as a project manager for Dassault Falcon Jet at the New Castle County Airport.

His mother called Friday to tell him of his brother's death. But it was too noisy inside the hangar to hear her clearly.

"I got a call at two o'clock in the middle of what was turning out to be a really good day at work," he said. "It's funny the way things work out. I went to work dressed in all black. About a dozen people asked me to sing Johnny Cash songs, and about a dozen asked me who died."

He went outside, called his mother back and heard her say: "Jay's been killed. Our baby."

"He was the brother who was always keeping us in line," said Lawrence. "He was influential in my personal development in a lot of ways. He had a code of ethics which was perfectly in line with everything that's good and right with the military and our government."

That's the same kid Tony Wolanski remembers coaching at Salesianum.

"Jay always led by example," Wolanski said. "He was very level-headed. He knew what he wanted to do. I told him West Point is a big commitment, and he said, 'But I want that commitment.' "

Wolanski had young Jay share goalie duties with another boy - an unusual arrangement for a soccer team.

"To me that's very impressive," Wolanski said. "Neither had an ego. And they carried that teamwork up to the state championships."

As for the son Jay Harting will never see, Lawrence Harting said he is doing fine.

"He went home from the hospital today, and he's a healthy baby boy," Lawrence said. "It's a blessing, and that's the way I'm really trying to look at it."

The timing of Warren's birth is just one coincidence in Jay's death.

His parents discovered they live two miles from the parents of Capt. Stephen Frank, who was killed alongside Harting in the suicide bombing.

The Army buddies grew up in different parts of Michigan, were classmates in West Point and served together in Iraq, where they had been deployed since January. Both sets of parents, who now live in the Detroit area, met a few days ago to share stories and comfort each other.

"Each day that goes by and I talk to my parents, things seem a little bit worse," Lawrence Harting said. "I feel a very strong and sincere obligation to my family right now."

Jay Harting also is survived by his wife, Jennifer, and children Adeline Rose, 2, Ralph Jr., 1; sister Sarah June, 23, and brother William Jerome, 27.

A memorial service will be held for Harting and Frank on Friday at Fort Irwin. Another service will be held May 14 at West Point, where they will be buried.