Asbury & Park Press -- DOVER TOWNSHIP — Terri Frassetto has had trouble sleeping since her two sons, Pfc. Vincent Michael Frassetto, 21, and Sgt. John P. Frassetto, 25, began their tours of duty with the Marine Corps in Iraq last month.

She awoke on her couch at 2:53 a.m. Thursday, a minute or so before the door bell rang.

In a few moments she would learn her son Vincent was killed by an "improvised explosive device" while riding in a vehicle in Al Anbar province at 1:20 a.m. Thursday Iraqi time.

Through the etched glass in the door, Terri Frassetto could see, standing in the porch light, two men in dark blue uniforms and white caps.

She opened the door of the Silverton home.

"One said to me, "Can we come in?' And I said, "Is it bad?' And he said, "Yes ma'am,' " Terri Frassetto said.

She got her husband, John Frassetto, from upstairs. The Marine officer read a statement, which started, "On behalf of the United States Marine Corps," and then it seemed like an eternity before the officer said the name of the son who was the subject of the bad news.

A 2003 graduate of Toms River High School North, Vincent Frassetto is among the more than 2,600 members of the U.S. military serving in Iraq who had died since the war began in March 2003.

The Marines offered their condolences to his parents and were gone by 3:22 a.m., said Terri Frassetto, 49.

When the sun came up, the Frassettos, stunned by the news, had kept it to themselves. Terri Frassetto feared that in the age of instant information, her two daughters, Alyssa, 19, who was away at Rowan University, would learn somehow through the computer about her brother's death. Because of the time difference, Mrs. Frassetto waited three hours before calling her daughter Gina, 26, in California.

"I didn't want to call anybody because I didn't want to say the words," Terri Frassetto said. "I didn't want to tell anybody such horrible news."

As the morning progressed, Terri and John Frassetto went to their jobs and informed their co-workers of the tragedy and made arrangements to take time off.

John Frassetto was stoic as he stood outside his home with other family and friends Friday evening.

"Every once in a while you feel it come over you," he said.

Terri Frassetto went to Rowan to get Alyssa before word took off on the Internet.

She called her mother, Ellie Conenello of Montvale, and told her the news. At first she told her mother not to make trip here immediately, but changed her mind, she said.

Though Frassetto brothers both joined the Marines, their similarities ended there, family members said, and they were exact opposites.

"John is just like his father," Conenello said. "The strong silent type. He (elder Frassetto) would have made a good Marine."

John Frassetto, 50, said he was ready to join the Marines when the Vietnam War and the draft ended.

Terri Frassetto believes that her son was only meant to live to 21, and that God took him because it was his time. She believes that, no matter where he was, Sept. 7 was his day to go.

"I am just mad he had to have such a short life," Terri Frassetto said.

Vincent Frassetto's remains are being brought home, his mother said. Services are scheduled for Friday and the funeral will be Saturday. His brother John is returning home.

Frassetto's uncle, Jerry DiGiorgio of Dover Township, said that his nephew was a playful kid and that it is near impossible to believe he could be gone.

"I keep waiting to hear he switched dog tags with somebody," DiGiorgio said. "He would do something like that."

Conenello said it seemed like two weeks ago, the family gathered for a big party to see Vincent off on his tour.

Vincent Frassetto left for Iraq on Aug. 23. He celebrated his sister Alyssa's 19th birthday with her and his best friend, Marc Lockwood, also of the Silverton section.

They partied in Seaside Heights and had a great time, Lockwood said.

Lockwood and Vincent Frassetto went to California in the first week of August to visit with his eldest sister, Gina Frassetto, and they had a great time there, too, he said.

"We had an amazing time," Lockwood said. "We went to comedy show at the Improv. We were in the back having a good time. We always did stupid things. I have known him his whole life."

In California, his friend wore a cheetah-print hat the whole time, Lockwood said.

"Him and Alyssa were really close," Lockwood said. "They were all pretty close. But, I always saw that Alyssa and Vinnie were together a lot."

Teachers at Toms River High School North, where Frassetto graduated in 2003, remembered him as "a great kid, a great student," said Frank Roselli, an assistant superintendent for the Toms River Regional School District.

"He was pretty consistent," Roselli said. "He was willing to volunteer and do whatever it takes."

Frassetto was a tight end for the High School North Mariners football team, Roselli said. When his old team went up against Toms River High School South on Friday night, the teams observed a moment of silence in his memory.

Dover Township Mayor Paul C. Brush said he will order flags at township buildings to be flown at half staff and said the township is ready to help Frassetto's family in any way.

"He was the nicest kid, kind, quiet," said Walter Peto, Toms River High School North athletic coordinator. "He was the type of kid who would have made a great contribution to society and been a great father."

"I've read the 2,700 names (of the war dead) but this is the first kid I know," Peto said. "It really hits home."